As you read this, you will notice that I am a little behind in posting. So in posting tomorrow is the big day, it really was on Thursday, but I am writing this from my journal so it will have to wait until I get caught up. I'm almost there!
11/16/2011 So, tomorrow is the big day, although I am still wishish it hadn't taken them so long to schedule these appointments. But I can't complain now as it will all be over with tomorrow, I hope. I am scared of what they might find but prepared to fight for my life if it comes down to it. I very much have an "if it is broke, fix it now!" attitude. I am not good at "let's wait and see" that's for sure.
I have been trying to maintain a relatively calm demeanor but that hasn't been so successful. I have cried off and on and have been in a state of emotional turmoil. I cry at the drop of a hat and quickly lose patience with Gary lately. I know that isn't fair to him so I try to keep to myself. He has been very understanding and loving towards me throughout all of this. He has held me in his arms while I have shed streams of tears, never complaining. It was a very comforting experience to be held, protected, kn owing he was there for me. The importance of a strong support system during any time of stress is so important. I am now a firm believer in that. Something to always remember in my counseling practice for the future. For now, I just have to make it through tonight.
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