Getting nervous

Two more days until the upper and lower GI. I know I should not be nervous about this as this is something that I have had to go through several times before since I have had my gastric bypass surgery, but I am nervous anyway. Mostly I am afraid of the I.V. needle which to some might seem silly, but I have had my share of bad needle pokes in my life that I have no desire to repeat. The sad part is there is usually a cocky nurse who is sure he or she knows what she is doing (and I am not saying he or she doesn't), who insists on using a large gauge needle on my very picky veins. Veins that shut down at the site of an I.V. cart. It is like my veins go into deep hiding as soon as I am poked with the I.V. To make matters worse, the nurse then proceeds to dig for 5 minutes, sure that the vein is right there when in fact it is usually blown and I am in pain and in tears, nerves on edge from trying to hold still. I must say, that I have gotten better at standing up for myself before the nurse pokes me, in trying to warn them that I need a smaller gauge needle, a warning before he or she pokes to calm my nerves, and then I am able to use self hypnosis to remain completely calm and pain free through the poking process. This makes this a much easier process on me than the previous method and I know that it is easier on the nurses as well because it only takes 1 or 2 pokes to get a viable vein instead of 3 or more. Plus there is no more tears and I am all for that.

I suppose I should also be nervous about being sedated but that part of the procedure doesn't really bother me. As long as I am not feeling any pain I figure I am doing okay. I know there is some slight chance that there could be an overdose of medication and I could die, but that is a very slim chance and not one that I am worried about. I know that this is something that my husband and family is probably more concerned about than I am because I have had a lot of experience with anesthesia having had 20 + surgeries and procedures requiring anesthesia in my life and I have successfully woken up from every one, obviously.

I am nervous about what the doctor is going to find when she goes in there. Although Dr. Balasubramanian claims there is nothing wrong with my stomach, and she is only doing the upper G.I. to please my gastric bypass surgeon, I have a feeling she may get surprised as I have pain in my stomach. But I guess I will have to wait and see. As for what she will find on the other end is anybody's guess as well. I have already been relegated to the IBS category and told I have diverticulitis. I, at this point don't really care what they call it as long as they can do something to stop the pain and discomfort I am almost constantly in.

So today starts  my liquid diet and the prep work for the doctor. I can't say that it will be much fun for me but it is survivable. I can't wait for the experience to be over with along with the hope that they will actually find something that they can treat in the process. Wish me luck.