It has been said that "Patience is a virtue." Unfortunately, it is not a virtue that I have yet obtained. If you have been keeping up with my blog, you know that I have had some relatively serious health issues to deal with which have not made my life easy over the past few months. What you may not have known is that during this time my husband and I have also been looking for employment and have been unable to pay our bills, making life even more hectic than it would be if one or both of us was working. Also, if I had not taken a semester off from school due to my health issues, I would have had money from my student loans to help pay the bills, but it was too much of a struggle for me to wrestle my health issues and the demands of a doctoral program at the same time.
So, why do I need patience, you must be asking yourself at this point, right? Well, I need patience with God's timing. I know that this might be difficult for my atheist friends to hear, but I am talking about my belief system here, so I am using my terminology, so no offense is meant to anyone. I know for me, God is out there, working miracles in people's lives every day. I know this, because I am here. I am alive after a devastating pedestrian motor vehicle accident when I was 9 that killed me on the way to the hospital and left me in a coma for 13 days. I am one of God's miracles. It is just hard to remember that sometimes. It should be easy to remember. Every time I look up at the wall that holds my many diplomas I am reminded that I am one of God's miracles, and I am thankful for that blessing every day of my life, but it gets difficult when I am feeling upset or depressed and not feeling like my usual cheerful self. That is when I need patience the most. Patience with my self. Patience with others, and knowledge that everything will eventually return to "normal" in God's time.
But that is the hardest part for me. I have never been good at waiting. At Christmas time when I was little, I became very good at peeking at my Christmas presents under the tree, I had such a hard time waiting for Christmas day and eventually I would get caught and get into trouble for it. Yet, I digress.
Patience. Why do I need patience? I need patience because I have to wait for everything to fall into place. For the job interviews to start showing up. Which, by the way, they have started to do. I had an interview yesterday with Anka Behavioral Health in Stockton, CA that lasted for an hour and 40 minutes. That seems like a positive sign to me. The only down sides to it are that it only pays $14 an hour and I wouldn't be able to go to school at Alliant University because of the hours. I would have to stay at Argosy University. Also, I have an interview in Chico on December 14th with Northern California Catholic Counseling Services. So things are looking up. I think I just needed to start showing momentum on my part by completing my Alliant application and getting that turned in. I have to show patience, however, in waiting for the results for the decision on that as well. It is such a hard thing for me to have to wait for other people to make up their minds when I want to know right now. Again, patience is a virtue I will have to work on achieving in order to maintain some form of inner peace. I have improved with age, but I am still impatient to a fault. It makes it hard for there to be surprises under the Christmas tree. Oh well.
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